The main characters of Brokeback Mountain had an intense, yet frustrating relationship. They had to balance relationships with other people in balancing their personal emotional relationship. While watching the movie for the first time just last week, it struck me how similar their relationship is to mine although, I’m not married. I have a friend with an ex-wife and two children that just cannot come to grips with his relationship with me. It’s easy to just dismiss him and say that he needs to just get over it but, he has had guilt about our thirty year relationship. Yes, thirty years. After seeing the movie I just could not wait another weekend to see him.

I was initially attracted to him for a variety of reasons not the least of which was that he is handsome, sexy body, intelligent, down home guy (and his perfect huge 9+ in. cock). Our relationship is pretty simple after all these years. I don’t see him often but, I used to see him every weekend. During our first few years he would constantly say, “I need to remain a stranger to you on the streets,” paraphrased, of course. And, after a while he would say, “This has to be our last time.” Well, that never happened. About 1998 or so, after I had moved back to Miami, he would tell me he had dreams of me at night. I told him I dreamed of him too. Sex dreams. Wet dreams. I didn’t think men over 40 had wet dreams but,…

Even though our lives had been disrupted by two years of hurricanes, I managed to visit him as often as I could until this past year when I hadn’t seen him at all. After the hurricanes of 2003 I remember him saying he loved me. He also referred to himself as queer. Two surprises they were coming from a construction worker and ex-marine.

For some reason he thought I had moved to Maine, of all places. I told him, “As long as I’m alive you’ll continue to see me. Count on that.” We had a night of open conversation about our relationship, one that has to remain in limbo. There were no surprises for either of us.

His only question during the evening I thought was interesting was that he wanted to know when we had our best sex. Way too many to remember but, I noted a few for him. One of those times was in the same motel. He visited me for a few hours before returning home but, about 3 am he came back knocking on my door. I’ve had enough reinforcement over the years to know how he feels about me and, when he told me he hasn’t been with another man since the last time we were together, I believe him. There are many what if’s but, I do have someone to love, even if he isn’t closeby. (He doesn’t have a phone either and, if I bought one for him he wouldn’t accept it. We talked about his lack of gift acceptance, too. *sigh*)